Caring for
a loved one can be emotionally exhausting. Whether you are caring for an
elderly parent, a sick spouse or a child with special needs, you are likely to
feel a mixture of emotions: love, sadness, frustration, guilt and maybe even
anger. Getting clarity about these feelings can help you ease your internal
conflict and find greater peace.
Helplessness
or hopelessness: there may be very real limits on how much you can do. This can
make you feel helpless, or even desperate, in your efforts to care for your
loved one. As a result, you may face the situation and get angry with yourself
or your loved one. By talking about this with a trusted person, you could allow
yourself to feel helpless, instead of diverting them to anger. As a result, you
can get some perspective, which can be fundamental. You may also find that
these feelings are related to the struggles with guilt.
Read More:
Guilt: In
your efforts to relieve the suffering of a loved one, you may feel that you can
never do enough. It is common for people to feel guilty for what they perceive
as inappropriate, or even to feel selfish for wanting to do something for
themselves.
If you
have difficulties with this, consider how you would react to a friend who is
going through a similar situation. You would probably recognize that there are
limits to what your friend could do. Just as they could not completely
eliminate the pain of their loved ones, you cannot do it either. And just as
sometimes they would need a break to take care of themselves, you also have
this need. Not being able to "do enough" is a statement that reveals
more about the situation than any lack on your part. By accepting this idea,
you can free yourself from the guilt it carries, do more to take care of you
and accept the help of others.
Frustration
or anger towards others: it can be incredibly frustrating, or even angry, when
family members don't come to help. They may help you when you ask, which is
good, although you would prefer them to take more initiative. Or, perhaps, they
do not act, even when you ask directly, which can be completely irritating.
If you
have only hinted at the need for help, adopting a more direct approach could
produce the help you want. But if what you try doesn't work, then it is
essential for your mental health to "accept" (although not be happy)
reality. As you decide to move forward, you might consider using the help of
different people in your social circle or seeking professional help, such as
helpers or other support services.
On the
other hand, you may resent yourself resentfully for someone who has hurt you or
even abused you. If you decide that caring for the person is the right thing,
you may find it helpful to focus on your choice to live according to your
values and find other people to support you in your efforts.
If you
face any of these situations, keep in mind that many people in your situation
would feel the same. But with the above tips, you can approach yourself and
your loved one with compassion, which allows you to relieve the emotional
complications that often take care of a loved one.
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